Today is my birthday. My brother-in-law wished me a happy birthday earlier today and just sent me a message on Facebook. It reads, “How’s your day going?”
Here is my reply:
1) I am 33. Jesus was dead by 33. What the hell have I done in my 33 years?!
2) I am not even 33. My true birthday is tomorrow. 33 years ago I was one day away from being born.
3) I just found out James arranged for a special bagel delivery for me (Canadian deli just opened in Auckland). There was lox and cream cheese in the fridge. The problem: the bagels never arrived!
7) 95% of my Facebook friends are in a different time zone and have yet to wish me a happy birthday.
8) The 5% of my Facebook friends who ARE in my time-zone and are acknowledging my birthday are acknowledging a fake birthday – as I am technically 32 and 364 days old.
9) The Chinese food will probably give me an MSG headache.
10) Like a fool, I bought regular strength painkillers. Why on earth wouldn’t I buy the “extra strength” version?!
11) It looks like it’s about to rain.
12) There hasn’t been a new Rob Ford video in days.
13) There isn’t any chocolate in the house.