Monthly Archives: November 2013

Life in the Time of Cholera…or Birthday-related First World Problems



Today is my birthday.  My brother-in-law wished me a happy birthday earlier today and just sent me a message on Facebook.  It reads, “How’s your day going?”

Here is my reply:

1) I am 33. Jesus was dead by 33. What the hell have I done in my 33 years?!

2) I am not even 33. My true birthday is tomorrow. 33 years ago I was one day away from being born.

3) I just found out James arranged for a special bagel delivery for me (Canadian deli just opened in Auckland). There was lox and cream cheese in the fridge. The problem: the bagels never arrived!

4) I wanted sushi for lunch but sushi here is nasty. It’s all cooked garbage on top of unseasoned rice. So I settled for Thai. I took Leah, who was pantless of course, to pick up some Thai for us to all share back home. The Thai place was closed! I went to a Chinese buffet in town. It looked gross and everything was mislabeled. It was so bad we threw out most of it. 
5) It’s muggy and my toe is hurting, I think from arthritis.
6) I found a white eyebrow hair the other day.

7) 95% of my Facebook friends are in a different time zone and have yet to wish me a happy birthday.

8) The 5% of my Facebook friends who ARE in my time-zone and are acknowledging my birthday are acknowledging a fake birthday – as I am technically 32 and 364 days old.

9) The Chinese food will probably give me an MSG headache.

10) Like a fool, I bought regular strength painkillers. Why on earth wouldn’t I buy the “extra strength” version?!

11) It looks like it’s about to rain.

12) There hasn’t been a new Rob Ford video in days.

13) There isn’t any chocolate in the house.